The word heal means to become sound or healthy again, and when talking about the body, it makes sense. Our bodies were once healthy and whole, and for whatever reason, injury or disease, it will do what it can to take itself back to its original state and do everything to heal itself. Emotional healing is a little more complex. Unlike the body, sometimes our reference point of ‘healthy’ doesn’t always look like a standardised model. What is a healthy baseline of emotional health? Where do we start the point of reference for someone being emotionally healthy or emotionally ill? What if, and work with me here for a moment, our baseline was built on abandonment, lack of love  or emotional abuse? What if a childhood started with neglect, pain and physical abuse? Where do we start with the individual’s baseline of good emotional health? How can we expect them to know what it looks like to start a healing process and then know when it is completed?

When I look at the lifecycle of humans and how we adopt certain ideologies on what is normal and what is not, I see that what we are all doing is living a very subjective experience while trying to keep up with the status quo, that in fact no one really understands. Your experience can only be truly understood by you because in essence, you were the only person who has lived every single moment of it. Others may have joined you in segments, but they didn’t feel your pain or your excitement or peace in every moment you have. They would have shared similar moments, but nothing to the extent in which your whole experience and emotional nature is built on.

The journey of healing is much like our experiences, subjective. It is painful and confusing because we are unsure of where the journey will take us. We are not who we were a decade ago, last year, or even who we were yesterday, as we have learned new things that will help shape who we will become tomorrow. Yet, we are expected to know, understand and work with a model of emotional healing (that is, if we are even aware that healing needs to take place) without even knowing what being healed looks like for us. 

Take a moment to ponder on this – you speak your native language in a specific accent because that is what you learned as a child, if you were born on the other side of the world, you would indeed speak the language of that country in the dialect of that city too. You learned to ride a bike, drive a car and read and write. You learned your mannerisms, your loves, dislikes and your hobbies. You are a learning being, through and through. Everything you know today is because you heard it, saw it and experienced it. Your idea of healing may be based on these experiences, and your baseline may be that of anxiety, pressure, guilt and not being enough. If we are always working towards emotional health that is told to us to be right, but we do not know or understand it, then we suffer the consequence of always falling short. 

For me, the healing journey is learning to embrace tiny moments of peace and clarity that get built upon over time. The more moments of serenity I find, in time, start to outweigh the moments of despair. If there are certain things I have learned that do not serve me, I try to find new things, feelings and experiences to learn that will create healthier and happier moments in my mind and body. Sometimes it takes help from someone who has walked before me, who has overcome similar experiences and can walk with me through a path of self exploration.  It takes courage to decide that what has been is no longer serving and when we take the plunge into emotional healing that feels right for us, we can start a journey that is both exciting, sound and wholesome. 

About the Author

Jessica Kelly
Founder and CEO of Meet Your Mind Online. Jessica has spent the last 8 years working on self development to help coach and assist others in their journey of self discovery and healing. Her objective is to generate a deeper awareness around mental health for individuals and their communities alike, so each person can navigate, understand and pursue the route to inner peace and in return create a life they love.

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